


The Fearful Claim of Love

by dantylions



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, First Love, Future AU, M/M, Reunion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-20
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-01-03 03:57:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1065484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dantylions/pseuds/dantylions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loving someone can be painful, blissful, and annoying. Loving Akashi Seijuurou was something that couldn't be explained.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i looked for love in the wrong place

Being in love was one thing and then being in love with Akashi Seijuurou was another. He was...well, he was everything you wouldn't expect him to be. Kind but cruel and probably, no, most definitely crazy, though you'd never say that to his face. Unpredictable too, as if you say one thing, expecting one reaction but then get the complete opposite out of him. Yes Akashi was a whole other thing on a completely different scale and trying to put that into words was…a little difficult. Kuroko didn't mind though, he didn't mind that Akashi might be a little messed up. Kuroko didn't mind him suddenly slotting himself back into Kuroko's life after not seeing, hearing, or having any contact for seven years after the Winter Cup, heck he didn't even mind the fact that the last time he did see him, his heart was brushed off and scattered into the wind like some dust on a very fine tailored suit, which Akashi was wearing right now as they sat down for dinner in an expensive restaurant. No, all these little things were nothing to the comparison of just actually breathing, being, and having the attention of Akashi Seijuurou and Kuroko thought, and more than once, that seeing him again would undo him.

-

Light caught his wine glass as Akashi lifted it to his lips, taking a very precise and calculated sip, if you could call wine drinking precise and calculating. His ruby hair was slightly longer than the time at high school when the boy snatched Midorima's lucky item of the day -- which were scissors -- and cut his incessantly long bangs; and with those same scissors, proceeded to stab Kagami in the face. Kuroko thought that perhaps he was a little distracted, picking up on every little detail that Akashi did, like the way his coloured eyes flickered with amusement whenever he caught Kuroko staring at him, or the way he'd elegantly lean his elbow on the arm rest, propping his cheek up with one hand and giving orders to the waiter as if he were an Emperor. It sort of irritated Kuroko to no end. He was so distracted he didn't even realise Akashi was speaking to him until he received an impatient sigh and displeased frown.

"I'm sorry Akashi-kun, I wasn't paying attention." There was no point sugar coating his words, Akashi was much smarter than that and if it was anyone else but Kuroko, maybe Akashi would have killed them. Not really, but probably. Instead Akashi just gave a small laugh.

"No, it's quite okay Tetsuya. It's been many years." Akashi paused, as if contemplating his next words. "I'm sure...you have many questions for me."

Kuroko nodded slightly, an ill feeling rising in his chest. He'd been trying to avoid any confrontation, but he had to know, he had to know if it was just him. "Have you been keeping in touch with everyone else?" He asks mildly, watching closely for any inkling of being deceived. Akashi gave Kuroko a self-deprecating smile.

"I've kept in touch with the others. I met up with Shintarou not long ago, he's become a very respectable doctor wouldn't you agree? And well Daiki's causing quite a stir in America. The others I haven't heard from in quite a while, but Atsushi has started up his own patisserie, have you been there Tetsuya?" Akashi spoke as if he was disinterested in the doings of the others, aware that Kuroko himself already knew all of this. 

"No I haven't been there yet." Kuroko mumbled, feeling like a little boy again even though he was now twenty-three. He took a bite of some weird salmon dish that tasted too refined for his senses, because first of all, he'd never been fine dining before, and second of all, he thought the prices on a dish that could fit into the palm of his hand was ridiculous and anyone who was willing to throw away thousands of yen on one dish was clearly questionable. Still, he dabbed his napkin at the corner of his mouth because he felt expensive tastes require proper etiquette. He was delaying of course, avoiding the inevitable, but as he looked Akashi straight in the eyes, he knew that it was time to stop running.

"How come you've never kept in contact with me?" If he was hoping to get a reaction out of Akashi, he was poorly mistaken. Akashi stayed silent, staring at the other with curious eyes until the silence became unbearable for Kuroko.

"I didn't think you'd want to talk to me after the last time, wasn't I right in assuming so Tetsuya?" Kuroko flinched in response, remembering with all too much clarity the way Akashi's eyes look as he rejected him without saying a single word. 

"Of course, but I didn't think that would warrant not speaking to me for seven years. That's a little cold Akashi-kun." He said cooly, taking a sip of wine with more eagerness than before despite its foul taste on his tongue. He somewhat hoped that it would make him drunk enough so he could forget his bitter reunion with Akashi. Being with him was more than enough for Kuroko though. It was him that discovered his talent, it was him that kept telling him that he was different -- special -- and it was him who stepped on his heart and told him he was no longer needed, his skills no longer required for the Generation of Miracles who soared above the rest and left Kuroko crawling on the ground. Those words had hurt more than anything else, even more than losing Aomine, more than watching his Teikou teammates lose the light in their eyes, more than their first defeat in the inter-high, and more than watching Kiyoshi try so hard but knowing it was hopeless. But nothing had hurt more than knowing he'd been replaced, that he was no longer worthy of the Phantom Sixth man title. Deep down inside, Kuroko hated how selfish he was and that through all of his sufferings, something that Akashi didn't even verbalise overruled every pain his teammates in Teikou had caused him and every pain his teammates in Seirin went through. All Akashi did was look at him with those cold eyes and Kuroko had crumbled away. 

"You may act strong Tetsuya, but your eyes tell the truth. I've hurt you haven't I?"

Kuroko's reply was cold and resigned. "Of course. You know how much I loved you."

"Correction, you still love me." The other didn't even pretend to deny it. Nothing missed Akashi's eye.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: I updated this because I wrote this a year ago and then re-read it recently and almost fell off my chair with horror. I am an awful writer! What is this atrocity!
> 
> anyway this is version 2.0 revised and hopefully a little bit better.
> 
> I apologise for my crappy writing skills, but please enjoy anyway.


	2. get too close and you'll get burned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First love, first heartbreak, and first regret: Akashi was full of Kuroko's firsts.

Time passed slowly when you were waiting. Kuroko thought time was so slow that it had actually stopped. In reality, three weeks had gone by since his dinner with Akashi. Kuroko continued his work as an assistant teacher at a preschool, battling monsters with runny noses and avoiding airborne stationery objects. Sometimes Kagami would drop by, if he was in the area for an emergency call, and sometimes Kise would, if he was back from an international flight. It was nice, but at the same time it wasn't. He could tell they were checking up on him, it was like everyone had heard 'Oh no, Akashi's back in town' and they had to check that Kuroko was still alive and breathing. It wasn't really a surprise to him that everyone knew he loved -- still loves -- Akashi. It was like how everyone knew that Kise was in love with Aomine and Aomine was in love with Kuroko. Kagami would often say. "Wow I have never met a bunch of people in my life that are so messed up." and in a way, it was true. Kuroko's Teikou days were full of misunderstandings, drama and loss; and they had all payed the price for it in high school. Things that should have been repaired, were not, and they could never go back to those days where playing basketball had brought them laughter and life, even if they wished for it.

-

New years was around the corner and time was still crawling to almost a standstill. The preschool was closed for the holidays and Kuroko did what he usually did best; he immersed himself in books, good coffee, and made an investment in a heater -- which didn't die halfway through a snow storm like the last one -- for the winter. He caught up with Midorima at some point in a little cozy cafe bookstore that had the best pastries Kuroko has ever had the delight of eating and they talked about their work, contemplated a new novel release, and argued about the hidden meaning of their favourite stories. Midorima would sometimes complain -- actually a lot -- about his work partner Takao, who seemed to have the patience of three saints, and the numerous blunders he would make at work. Kuroko thought he must've been a funny guy to hang around someone like Midorima for so long, but then again so did Kuroko.

However even though he spent time with others, he never talked about himself, for what could he say? He worked and went home day after day; he saw his friends and then sometimes he wouldn't. He didn't want to admit it, but he was still hung up on Akashi and it felt as if there was nothing he could do about it. Midorima noticed, and tried not to pry as much, but being Midorima couldn't help himself anyway.

-

"I heard you saw Akashi a few weeks ago." Midorima said nonchalantly, as if this was old news and not at all surprising, though the unmistaken curiosity in his eyes failed to go unnoticed by Kuroko.

"Yeah, we had dinner." He replied, not giving away too much information because he was sure that this would circulate around his circle of friends. They liked to gossip. He hoped Midorima would drop the subject, being the intelligent doctor that he was; however Midorima was oblivious and tactless when it came to other people.

"And then? What happened? I've had three idiots text me half a dozen times panicking over the state of you mind, which if I must say was incredibly  _annoying_." Midorima harrumphed, folding his arms in an irritated way which Kuroko had learnt was also his way of showing concern. Kuroko smiled slightly at him.

"I'm sure Kagami-kun, Kise-kun and Aomine-kun mean well. I'm fine really. We just had dinner that's all." His words were not bought by Midorima, but he learned to fall silent from the way Kuroko's face was pinched with tightly masked pain.  

-

January made things miserable; the wind howled and the snow gusted through people's thick winter coats as if they were made from no more than fishing nets. Kuroko was regretting ever stepping outside the warm confinements of his apartment to purchase the new novel by Kawakami Fumi. He slipped on a bit of ice as he rounded the corner to his apartment block, steadying himself and surging through the flurry of snow when he noticed someone standing outside his apartment door on the third floor. Kuroko's mouth instantly felt dry and he hurried to climb the stairs, unbidden nerves making themselves known and unwanted as they tumbled from his mouth in rapid breaths. The stairs felt never ending and then he reached the top and his heart stopped. Truthfully, he shouldn't even be surprised, not really, because after all this time it was still Akashi, who did whatever he pleased, unwarranted by the feelings of others. But still, it had been five weeks with no text, no call, no email and there he was, standing in front of his door with lips that were blue from the cold and still looking as beautiful as ever.

"Hello Tetsuya, is it alright if I come inside?"

Kuroko knew in that moment he would forgive him.

-

The heater was whirring away and the room was thankfully warming up. Kuroko hung Akashi's coat near the doorway and shook his own off, watching as snow piled on the floor and melted into water puddles. He left to get some towels, knowing that Akashi would make himself at home anyway. When he got back, the other was already sitting on the couch, warming his hands near the heater.

"Don't get too close, you'll burn yourself." Kuroko muttered as Akashi leaned back in surprise. It was unusual to see him affected by the cold; he never left his house, or more like his maids never _let_ him leave the house without appropriate clothing. From what Kuroko could see, Akashi only brought a single jacket, which was now dripping in the hallway, and a long sleeved shirt underneath, hardly fitting for the blizzard raging outside. The only logical explanation Kuroko could come up with is that he had to leave the house in a hurry, but for what reason? Kuroko joined him on the couch and Akashi smiled slightly, but it seemed somewhat strained as if Kuroko's close proximity made him uncomfortable. He didn't move away though, which Kuroko was thankful for.

"So, what brings you here Akashi-kun? It's been awhile." Kuroko asked, not directly looking at him, but not looking fully away either. If he looked into Akashi's coloured eyes, he felt like he would become lost, losing his composure that he had tightly coiled around himself. He didn't want that to happen, he simply didn't want to show Akashi how much is presence unravelled him.

"I was in the area." He said it so simply like the words held no importance; however Kuroko wasn't so easily fooled. 

"Oh really? With just one coat in this weather?" Kuroko replied coolly. Akashi pursed his lips, eyes bemused by the other's manner and leant back into the lounge.

It was quiet in the room, so silent that a pin dropping would sound like a cannon. From the bedroom, Kuroko could hear the clock ticking away in time with his heart beat and the nerves began to unfurl in his stomach. The sound was soothing, it had been for the past fifteen minutes as Akashi stayed silent, not moving or making a sound. He seemed to be in deep thought from the slight wrinkle between his eyebrows and Kuroko waited with bated breath like any moment could end his life. Each breath they took felt as if they were sharing their inner thoughts; feelings that would come out twisted if they spoke. All the things that Kuroko wanted to say lay heavy on his tongue: first love, first heartbreak and first regret; Akashi was full of Kuroko's firsts. For just a moment, he wished the silence would continue forever.

"I wanted to see you." Akashi breathed, his eyes earnest and a little afraid, because Akashi had never given himself to someone before. Not his father or his friends, and the only person who ever held Akashi's love was his mother, but that memory had long faded with her. "I want to keep seeing you."

Those words seemed to break the spell over Kuroko, the bubble in his chest bursting in a whirl wind of emotions. This person, this person who was unattainable, who was so far away in the distance he was merely a speck on the horizon, had looked at him with steady eyes that spoke more words than he could ever convey. And before Kuroko could think about whether this was a good idea, whether he would be hurt again; the words were tumbling from his mouth freely.

"I'd like that very much." And he would. He really would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: This chapter has been rehashed because it was shit before lol.


	3. i want to get burned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tetsuya was like fire and snow, day and night, light and shadow.
> 
> Akashi wondered which one he was today?
> 
> p.s. a little bit a smut, only a little but warning just incase.

Sometimes Tetsuya was the sun and sometimes he was the snow. Today he was neither. They were sitting together; Tetsuya with a novel in hand and dressed in a wool sweater with sleeves too long that they covered his small hands and Akashi sat beside him, watching Tetsuya turn the pages methodically like the book was a delicate flower. This was why he was neither sun nor snow. If he were the sun, his lean arms would be wrapped around Akashi's neck, lips brushing feathery kisses onto his skin and leaving behind scorch marks that tingled and burned. His icy blue eyes would burn with passion as they took in Akashi's body like he was a ravenous wolf ready to devour his prey, and sometimes Akashi would let him. Days like that were summer, with the sun beating down and leaving Akashi's skin burnt and peeling and achingly warm.

When Tetsuya was snow, a polite distance would separate the two and few words would be exchanged. He would smile and make conversation, but he was always a little distant and cool like the snowflakes piling outside on the windowsill. It was not on purpose; Akashi summed it up to Tetsuya wanting his own personal space and that was fine. But on those cool days, Akashi, more often than not, wished he could monopolise Tetsuya, until every thought of his would reduce to a single cell that would react to him and only him. Akashi was greedy, he knew this and he also knew that it was what drove him. His greed for victory, for power, and for Tetsuya; it rode in every bone in his body until it seeped into the cracks and became a fundamental part of him. Sometimes he had to reign it in, because one person could not receive and harbour all that selfish-ness. Sometimes he needed to remind himself that Tetsuya was a human being and not an object. But sometimes Akashi didn't care.

-

Small gasps escaped into the air as Akashi kneaded his hands down Tetsuya's pale thighs, his teeth grazing at the small pert nipples, drawing a shuddery moan from the other's mouth. Akashi couldn't help but grin. Pliant and willing beneath him, Tetsuya looked like a right mess; his sweater bunched underneath his chin, book lying discarded on the floor and his hand covering up every gasp that Akashi coaxed out of him. With deliberate slowness, Akashi mouthed his way down Tetsuya's abdomen, making a show of every kiss he placed on Tetsuya's flushed skin. He reached the top of his sweatpants, nibbled on the hip bone, which was followed by a sharp intake of breath, and looked up into Tetsuya's pink face.

"I'm sorry, and you were just getting to the good part of your book." Akashi smirked slightly and through Tetsuya's burning face, he noticed pale eyes narrowing. Without hesitation, Tetsuya placed his hand on Akashi's head, forcing his mouth down to the bulge in his pants.

"Please be quiet and hurry up Akashi-kun. I'd like to finish my ah-"

Akashi bit down, simultaneously silencing Tetsuya and making his back arch in response. No longer wanting to delay, Akashi slipped his fingers into the waistband of Tetsuya's pants, pulling them down and licking his lips at the sight before him. To say that Tetsuya wasn't beautiful was wrong. Tetsuya was more than that; he was enticing in the ways that his muscles, honed from years of basketball practice, hugged his frame, dipping in sharp relief and displaying the well filled out body of a man. His snow powdered hair was soft under Akashi's fingers and blue eyes pierced through him like Tetsuya saw everything of Akashi at once, leaving nothing behind. It made his stomach burn, warmth pooling until it travelled to his feet, making his toes curl. Overwhelmed by the need to absorb Tetsuya into his soul, Akashi sealed their mouths in a fiery kiss, prying his lips open with his tongue and licking and sucking until Tetsuya was quaking beneath him. Feeling triumphant, and breathless, Akashi reached down and clasped his fingers around Tetsuya's cock, watching as he flinched and moan into the touch. A piercing ring shattered the moment like breaking glass. 

"Ignore it." Akashi gritted through his teeth. The phone rang again, loud and shrill, and before Akashi could react, Tetsuya was slithering out of his grasp and padding to the other room, throwing a sly look over his shoulder as if to say 'oh well'.

Akashi just stared at him in disbelief, not even having the strength to get annoyed; his stomach was too twisted and his lower half ached viciously. He sat up and looked out the window, watching individual snowflakes float pass the glass and wondered how it would feel against his burning skin. He wondered which one Tetsuya was today? Snow or sun?

Tetsuya poked his head back into the room, his eyes twinkling. "Would you like to take this to the bedroom?"

_Sun._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: This chapter has been rehashed because what was left before was an atrocity.


End file.
